But what if...

I don't know how or why we let it happen, but last night we had a visit from a life insurance saleswoman.

She must have weighed 300 pounds easy, and was as intense a woman as I've ever met. No friend of the soft-sell, Frau Elke stayed with us for over two hours, at one point stooping to the worst-case scenario pitch.

To any of our reservations, however slight, Frau Elke would put things into perspective for us:

"But Frau Curtiss, what happens if your husband pokes his eye out? How will he be able to write or teach if he's blind? Who will pay for his glass eye? Who will do the shopping?"

or

"But Herr Curtiss, what happens if you both get into a car accident and have to have your legs removed? Who will pay for your wheelchairs? How will you teach? How will you do research with no legs?"

Finally, after entertaining thoughts of the nastier side of life, I said, "Ok, ok, enough with the worst-case scenarios."

"But Herr Curtiss," she replied, "I'm serious. What happens if you break your hands, for example, how will you write?"

Oh, she was relentless.

I was proud for awhile that I listened to her the whole time, but then remembered I didn't actually manage it: when she was talking her nonsense, I was mentally picturing positive things happening so she didn't get her dirty negativity into our chakras.

Ok, I don't know the first thing about chakras.

But I do believe that speaking about negativity breeds negativity, just as speaking about positivity breeds positivity.

Thus, as I wrote that last paragraph, I thought of a perfect comeback to her many terrible scenarios:

"And you, Frau Elke, what happens if you break our stool and fall on your healthy butt? Are you insured for that?"

But come to think of it, she probably was.